Away

Sometimes I go away.

I lay on a green grass bed. The earth is cool, a perchance of damp. I soak in the sun, arms spread wide, the warmth hits straight to my bones. It presses against me, I close my eyes trying to take it all in. Minutes, or perhaps hours pass by. I slightly crack my eyes as if to spy during church in the prayer. The sky is a blue I can't describe. A blue so blue it defies blue. I watch clouds lull by slowly and I try to stop time, it only half works.

There's a small stream behind a old barn. The water is cold and clear. I listen to the stream play it's music. Trickle, tinkle, gurgle. I dip my feet into the flow having lost track of my oppressive shoes. I dig my toes in the soft mud lifting geysers of brown silt into the flow.

Sometimes I go away

One of the reasons I like summer is because the days seem to go on and on, almost as if time were a lot slower. Well plus I like warmth. Today is cold and empty and so it's been hard to keep up even the two resolutions I started out with. I admit I have not done the best job at keeping up with them, even though they seemed pretty simple. It's so odd to me how quickly the human mind can change. I guess it is habit and only by constant reminders and the help of others can we really change something so innate within us. I find myself jumping off the track I want to be on so easily and often I don't even realize I'm off the track. I guess there is a human flaw that plays into it. I must try and be more diligent on getting inspired. Inspiration is life. Without it, well simply put who cares.

I tend to get inspired the most by stories. I don't really mean I get inspired by reading Hansel and Gretel though I guess I possibly could, more I love hearing and learning what other peoples perspective and life stories are. This is somewhat odd in the fact that I'm a introvert and for the most part enjoy being alone [possibly a little to much]. Blogs are great because they tell stories and perspectives and I may have spent a lot of time reading random blogs of people I will probably never meet or talk to just because I love stories. Stalkerish you say? Not really I have no intention of trying to meet any of these people or even communicate with them I just want to watch the movie that is their life through their narrative.

Who knows maybe some random person will stumble across the small section of the huge world wide web and find a glimmer of inspiration. My mind would like to laugh and gawk: Ha it will never happen! The problem is it already has happened. Ok so not this particular blog but with my live journal. I've had complete strangers stumble across it and be inspired. I guess if you really want proof I could search through the entries and find the thread containing the proof but I may get forever lost in nostalgia and it's already 11 pm.

I have a lot of thoughts running through my head today thoughts of where I am, what do I really want, how do I get there, is this what I really want or is it a lie society tells me I want. Is wanting bad, perhaps I should focus on what I have, perhaps I need a new start. To change I must move, how can I move. Should I move. Should I move to Arizona. Don't be fooled I just want a new place, a new start, maybe to re-invent myself into something new. I could have said should I move to Tennessee but I like warmth.

This post was a little scatter brained well welcome to Joel but I leave you with some movies and books that I find inspiring. Be inspired it changes everything.

Books:

Start something that matters Blake Mycoskie
The Happiness Project Gretchen Rubin
What Really Happened Shari Caudron
The Martian Chronicles Ray Bradbury
White Oleander Janet Fitch

Movies

Moonrise Kingdom
The best exotic Marigold motel
The Shawshank redemption
Girl interrupted
and even though I have not seen it yet my intuition says Craigslist Joe

I am sure there are a lot more but these are the ones I came up with off the top of my head and did I mention it was 11? Actually 11:30 . . .I guess I have another list to add to 1. Resolutions for the year and 2. Things that inspire me. What inspires you?

~ Joel